How to be 'Teh Satan' in Rollercoaster Tycoon

By Interloper

I am here to answer the question you have always wanted to ask--"How can I become Teh Satan in Rollercoaster Tycoon?". By following the evil processes outlined below, you will be teh Satan in no time.

Step One - Teh Building

The very first thing you must do to become teh Satan is put a no-exit sign right inside your park entrance. This stops peoples from saying "this park blows man im outta here LOL" and leaving your park, well at least the part about them leaving. After you have done this you must remove all seats from your park - teh Satan cannot allow people to sit down except on the WHEEL OF DOOM (see step seven).

Step Two - Teh More Building

The next thing you must do if you truly wish to be teh Satan is to build food and drink stalls and a toilet.

Step Three - "Fix" Teh Prices

THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT STEP OF BECOMING teh SATAN! You must make sure that the food and drinks are all for free but that it costs $10 to go to the toilet. LOL!

Step Four - Teh Even More Building

Fill up the rest of your park with food and drink stalls and toilets. Make sure that the toilets all cost $10 to use and all the food is free. Also place more "no exit" signs to trap your visitors in your RING OF EVIL. Now is also a good time to start an advertising campaign for your theme park. For variety add an ice-cream stand or two -- but make sure all the ice-cream is free.

Step Five - Teh Grand Opening

Finally it's time to open your park to the public. Laugh maniacally as your first victims enter your park.

Step Six - Teh Watching

Watch as your park gradually fills with people who can never leave and have to pay to go to the toilet. Laugh as they walk blindly around in circles looking madly for an
exit. Now might also be a good time to hire some security guards to make sure that
no unruly customers step out of line.

Step Seven - Teh WHEEL OF DOOM

Now your visitors will be so desperate for entertainment that they will pay any price. Build a ferris wheel right in teh centre of your park and charge people $10 for one rotation. They will be falling over each other in a rush to make the queue. Laugh at them some more. By now most of your guests will be thinking "I want to go home" and "I'm tired", you are only one step away from becoming teh Satan.

Step Eight - Teh Big Letters

By now search parties will have probably been dispatched to find out why people have not returned from your park yet. Write your name in big letters to let the police helicopters know that you are no petty crim but teh SATAN himself. Alternatively you can just write rude words like "tits" or "lederhosen" -- the possibilities are endless.

That's it, you are now teh Satan. Don't forget to polish your horns.

Go back to teh Shrine