An Ode to Gaming

by Johnno

I was playing Quake 3
With a big arsed gun..
I was shouting at the screen
Better run bitch,run
I come with this gun
And its a big fuckin gun
Its time for some fun
Better run bitch..RUN!!!

So I creep in the dark
And I lurk in the mist
Line em up in my sights
BANG..Shit I missed
And im pissed..im mad
Im having none of this
With a flick of my wrist
I don the razor sharp fist
Frag 1 to me
Mouse and keys terrorist
Has fragged your sorry arse
And crossed your name off my list..

Erm.. its time for reboot
Wanna shoot some more shit..
So I load up Space Invaders
For my old skool hit..

AAAAHHH!!! Aliens
Theres 100's of them
They come to take my bases
And kill all my men..
Ill bash in their little faces
and drag em out their ships
and stamp on their heads
and kill the aliens kids
Im a travel to their world
and drop bombs on his planet
my fingers going numb
Hitting buttons god dammit

Time for a breather
Give my hands of skill a rest..
I wants some fisticuffs
A knuckle caper to the death..

Its time for Street Fighter
Hyper Fighter session 2
Don the robes of kung fu
Cos im just like Ryu
Performing back flips and shit
Dragon punches and fireballs
I duffed up chun-li
and exposed her testicles
See I told ya..
said it all along..she's a bloke..
So I done a yoga flame
See it charred,watch it smoke
It was me vs Guile
So I pulled a special move
My "hair brush of death"
Will make your style improve..
here..have my pants
camo gear is not right
Round 2.. get ready
It is time...Lets Fight!!!!
Entered the stance of Bruce
and shrieked like a girl..
And left him in a blur
With a kung fu style twirl..

Im bored with this..
So what should I play..
I got all fuckin day
What Should I play..eh ?
I know what ill play
Cos I want to jump around
And make shit shake
When my arse hits the ground..

Pack it up,pack it in
Let Mario begin
I need stars to win
Dissing yoshi's a sin..
Ill serve your arse
Like John McEnroe
Cos yes it is me..
Its me..Mario
Im the cream of the crop
and ill jump to the top
of the bonus gate..
and get nuff points..props

Look..can you see it..
Yes that over there..
Its a walking mushroom
Do you think I fuckin care..
But look I tell you
That turtle said you smell..
Oh yeah bring it here
So I can rip off its shell..
and use it as a hat
or a recepticle to shit in
cos im having none of that
I give koopas bigtime kickins..

 

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