An Ode to Booze

by Johnno

My drunken lyric fest is on
After 12 Bacardi Breezers
An Im Just gettin tipsy
Cos Im John the top geezer
I wobble to the fridge
And what do I see
A bottle of Jim Beam
Is staring at me..
Its talking to me..
Telling me it wants drinking
So we can both get sweet
And indulge in deep thinking
Together with Jim
I see the world as it is
Jim is shrinking
And im gettin off me tits
Jim has dissapeared
His pissed off and left me
F**k knows where his gone
But the bottle is empty
What we got now
Beefeater or Tequila
Im feeling all aussie
Shall I disrepect my sheila
I'll swear and yell
and start fights for fun
Cos im feeling all brave
And im rocking off rum
So run if your wise
Or if your silly stand still
And suffer at the hands
of my drunken style skill
If I need to calm down
I'll roll a 5 skin
But knowing my luck
It'll make my head spin
Then I'll wear a silly grin
and laugh at shit till I chuck
and when my fridge is empty
I shall cry out Oh F**k..
Im hanging out for a Kebab
but all I can get is a sandwich
So cook up some proper shit
Or suffer Jake Heke slappings bitch
I'll regret it next day
But tommorrow's not now
So bring me a fine feast
And I dont care how..
The cycle will repeat
Im commiting alchoholic suicide
Messing up me insides
All the time till the day I die
So sure,pass the grass
I'll smoke it till I pass out
I'll stand in a club
On stage and get me arse out
I'll sit in a pub
And drink the bar dry
I'll watch people get bombed
And laugh when they die
Emotionless and inhuman
The booze has made me stronger
But life is so soul consuming
I dont want to live any longer
Should I visit AA
or just say f**kin ey..
Every night is the same
Same as every f**kin day
An angry drunken teenager
Is fast aproaching thirty
Beer bellys getting bigger
and my thoughts are still dirty
Am I destined
To work 9 to 5 for life
So I can put food on the table
For me,my kids and wife
Do I wanna reach 65
So I can retire with dignity
and survive on a pension
thats 1 tenth of me salary
Or dwell in self pity
And drink my self silly
I drunk so much booze
Theres no life in my willy (blatant lie but it serves artistic purpose)
Theres no life in my mind
Am I the only one to blame
Trapped in this shitty city
Makes me brain go insane
My mentals all mush
I make women blush
When I get foul mouthed
X rated stylee and stuff
All the pain and the strife
Has got my hair receiding
and one day soon
I'll look like Hugo Weaving
But the time has come
To put an end to my rants
Cos in the real world
A real woman wants to get in me pants...

 

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